| Location | Basildon |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 12/2002 |
| Date of Death | 12/2002 |
| Visitors | 1,232 since 02/01/2008 |
| Creator |
I had problems with the pregnancy from about 30 weeks, I said my waters had gone but as tests said otherwise I was sent home.
About a week later I felt ill so went back to the hospital. I had more tests and they showed nothing,so I was going to be sent home again. They decided to da a scan first and this in fact showed that I was losing water.
I was sent home (without any antibiotics may I add) with a plan to visit the hospital twice a week for scans.
Any way I got to 36 weeks and I was told I had no water left. I had to wait for the doctors to find out what was to happen next. The doctors were again going to send me home. I was not having that,so I threw myself on the floor at the doctors feet. my dad said I was being silly but " I said to the doctor if you do not get this baby out she wil be dead".
They decided to induce me on the grounds that I was under stress and she was born after three days of labour. It wasnt an easy one being so long I was tired and so was the baby. Her heart rate dropped really low and was told I would have to be cut. I didnt care I just wanted her out safe. I was so convinced this day would not come and she would be dead, but she was out and in my arms.It was the happiest time of my life.
I was taken down to the ward and things seemed great. I was tired so I went to sleep. I was woken by cries and a midwife ( who I now owe thanks to,you know who u are x) I was asked to give my beautiful baby girl a feed. I was showen how to do this and she latched on straight away. I was so pleased. I was left to get on with this and thats when it al went wrong.
During this feed Phenie started to go floppy and blue. I unlatched her and put her over my shoulder to clear anything in her mouth. she had blood coming from it and so I started CPR. During this my buzzer was on and the midwife came. I ran of the bed to her and she gave Phenie some air.
SHE SEEMED FINE, phenie was taking down to NICU and she seemed ok and was reasured she was fine now. I later got the call to go to NICU, I knew what had happened my baby girl had died.
I was taken to her and saw them trying to bring her back I shouted "leave her alone, leave my darling girl alone". They stopped and I called her father and the rest of the family. The worst thing I ever heard was next.
Phenies dad had fallen through the door way to were I was seated and my mothers screams filled the room.
The funeral hit me hard, I couldnt bear to go in the church it meant she was really gone and I didnt want that. I was dragged in by my mother and colin (phenies grandad) I thank them for getting me in there. They were right it was something I had to do. I sobbed all the way through but I made it and I went out the door to what seemed like thousands of flowers. My little girl only lived for nine hours yet she really had touched so many people and she still touches mine now. x
Many people have mentioned her unique name. Well, its short for Josephine. I was very close to my grandmother as a child so when she died I knew I wanted to name my child after her. I shortned it to Phenie I thought it was more modern and special (which she is). They are both together now by a tree in Pitsea. I know my little girls is being looked after by my Nan, just as I once was.
_____*hug*___*hug*__ __*h ug*___*hug*____
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___*hug*_______THINK ING________*hug*____
____*hug________OF YOU ________hug*_____
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I am so so sorry I really am...
I am sorry for your loss I really am. Your little Baby is with all the other little ones that have sadly had lo leave us .. I wish it were different for you all I really do.
Take care of yourself.
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FORGET ME NOT SUPPORT GROUP BASILDON HOSPITAL
JUST A NOTE TO SAY THERE IS A SUPPORT GROUP FOR BEREAVED PARENTS AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS. IF YOU NEED SUPPORT AFTER LOSING YOUR CHILD, THIS MAY BE THE GROUP FOR YOU. IT IS RUN BY NORMAL PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU THAT HAVE LOST A CHILD IN VARIOUS WAYS SO THIS SUPPORT GROUP CAN OFFER SUPPORT FROM EXPERIENCE NOT JUST A TEXT BOOK. THEY HAVE BEEN THERE SO IF YOU NEED A CHAT JUST CALL (O1268) 544601 FOR MYSELF OR POP ALONG TO ONE OF THE MEETINGS. THESE ARE HELD BY JO AND CARLA EVERY LAST THURSDAY OF THE MONTH AT:
LAINDON COMMUNITY CENTRE
LAINDON BASILDON ESSEX
(01268) 471717
Bear hugs to you Phenie
_______/ .- , '_________`. -. ..______
_______.. ` /`__________' .. ' /______
________`-/___' a___a`___..-'______ __
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sending you special bear hugs phenie,love and hugs to your mummy,who misses you so much xx
may i wish you and you beloved family a more peacefull 2008
I just wanted to say Thank you to everyone who supported me through this hard time. I cant name everyone but I really wanted to say thank you to my mum, Dave, Pat, Colin, and Maria cornwell who has been a great help recently as well as back then. Also thanks to Sherries for bringing along some old friends to the funeral to cheer me up it meant alot. Its because of all your support that I am strong now to get on with my life.
If you are some one who has recently just lost a loved one, stay strong you will get through it, I did.
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